Greetings my bipedal friends;
No, your correspondent is neither Sandy nor Phil. They are away visiting the lovely island of Kauai and are, intentionally or otherwise, providing yours truly with a well-deserved respite from the endless bickering prompted by that ridiculous “election.” (See the previous entry.) Neither of my “children” will set aside their pride long enough to type a few words.
Permit me to introduce myself. My name is Ajax. I am a border collie. For almost 8 years it has been my arduous assignment to train Phil and Sandy – house break them, if you will. You laugh and think, “Yeah, right. Like a dog can type.” Indeed we “borders” can type. We can also set your VCR’s to record our favorite shows! Can you? The truth is we are far more advanced and sophisticated than humans. As we herd sheep so we herd you sheeples. It isn’t particularly difficult, just a bit of mind control and my bowl is filled with food or the house gets vacuumed or the windows get washed or “they” purchase plane tickets and get out of my fur for a while. In other words, we run the world. Really, someone had to step in and take control. You should be grateful.
As good as we are at mind control there is one area where I have been unable to make an impression upon Phil and Sandy. (Could the fault lie in the poor material over which I am supposed to exercise control?) I am a healthy and intact male pure bred border collie. If I do say so myself, I am noted for my good looks, keen intelligence (obviously) and a winning personality. Can we cut to the chase? I need a wife! I NEED A WIFE! Fifty plus dog years of chastity is too much! Please help me find an appropriate young lady. I would be ever so grateful.
Fervently,
Ajax
PS: By the way, kudos to Mrs. Sue Timmons! You accomplished what few others have been able to do – shut Phil up! Thank you!
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
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4 comments:
Phil, Funny how your dog sounds strangly like you. Although Ajax didn't send me to a dictionary. Can I change my vote to Ajax? Tom
Poor pitiful Ajax. Phil - you need to find him a WIFE!
YEAH!! Ajax - thanks for WRITING!!!
The Brumley Ohana just got a dog...but alas, he is male as well. Can you imagine? A Border Collie and a Yorkie??
Dear Ajax...
I'm so glad your servants named you Ajax and not "Mr. Clean" ... or "Tide" ... or "Breeze" or even "Arm and Hammer" or "All"! For that, give a little credit to the couple. In other words, be patient with them even if you love them. I know it's hard, but you have to try. I've decided not to cast my vote for the authorship of this blog for the simple reason that Presidents (or very important press people in this case) are appointed, not elected. Every election, there's so much chatter on being Republican or Democrat ... utterly senseless and a waste of time. None of those promises are truly fulfilled and besides, we know there's already an agenda in place. But let's not go there cause that's another long story. Regarding your new friend: I'm so glad you know the difference between male and female over and above all your clinical observations! These days.... even that's a bit of a problem! I will certainly pray for your mate to make a personal appearance soon!!!
Cleveland
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